October 2015
The main doctor from neurology ward at the same hospital was sent to assess me👨🏼⚕️. A very nice older doctor, a positively charged man 👍👌. First doctor I actually liked 🤷🏻♀️. Still couldn’t talk, so I just listened…again! 👀😶😩
He was sent to assess me, because my body started showing some signs of awakening🤗, even though it wasn’t expected by any of the doctors.
The neurologist came into my room, assessing me from head to toes! I showed him what I could do-which wasn’t much… however few days ago I started noticing that I was regaining some control over my neck muscles 💪 . At first I had to move my chin to the side and the head would slowly follow. To best describe it I had to move my chin to the side, kind of opening my mouth in the process, to turn my head left and right. This required a lot of concentration and effort before I could do this more freely. He was astonished to see me do it, saying in a scientific language which part of my spine was working-I think he said “C 3 was working”, something like that… now I know that C1, C2 and C3 (first three cervical nerves) help to control head and neck movement 👇🤓👩🏫
This was important because they were thinking about moving me to a rehabilitation centre, the bad news was that in order to admit me I had to be a patient in a neurology ward first, and that unfortunately required waiting…🙄
Thinking about moving from ICU to Neurology ward was kind of exciting for me (I know! Something weird to get excited about, but hey! In the circumstances I was in that was an excitement🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️). I would move environment and wouldn’t have to see these 4 walls of the ICU room anymore-I was stupid enough to think that Neurology ward would bring a change, when it was just another chapter-as you will read in my next post a bad one…probably my worst one! 😰
To come back to the title of my today’s post 🍧, this neurology doctor referred me for an MRI scan, because he wanted to review it, seeing any changes that took place since day one, especially that there were signs of movement in my neck/head. Next morning I was on my way to get the scan in another hospital 🏥 🚑. Getting me ready and transferred was so much easier now that I had tubes in me, not around me with machines needed. When I was going into the MRI scanning machine, I just remember having an oxygen bottle attached for breathing. Anyone who ever had an MRI scan knows well that it’s very unpleasant and uncomfortable. Feels like you’re in this small tube, very claustrophobic with very loud noises around during the scan. Anyway when I got back to the ICU in the late afternoon I was soo hungry…🙉🤤. I was always fed through the PEG tube in my stomach but for some reason the nurse on duty prepared a jelly for me🍧. I think they were doing that from time to time for a trial, to see if I’ll be able to swallow. And to my surprise 😱 she fed me the jelly and in only few seconds the whole bowl of it disappeared 🤷🏻♀️😋?! For the first time in weeks I was able to taste food in my mouth and eat it! My swallowing ability was there!!! 🤗 only liquids for now but wow. This was a breakthrough moment in my journey to recovery! Since this day my dad would bring me homemade soups every day 🍵 (puréed, but still 👌 🙌). My grandmother was so happy to cook them for me ❤️👵. They were so tasty…can’t describe it… 😋🥰
When I look back now, this was a really great day! Very important too! I appreciated it at the time but then I forgot about it..such a human thing to do🙄🤦🏻♀️. How many of you can honestly say, with hand on your heart, that when you sit down to eat anything you take the time to be grateful that you have food and that you’re able to eat it and enjoy it? I know that most never do, and I’m sure about that because it’s a natural thing to do. We have it therefore we take it for granted…🤷🏻♀️ I lost my ability to eat, so I know exactly what it’s like, yet I still lost myself somewhere, forgetting that and kind of taking it for granted again. But on Sunday I was having family dinner with my parents (like every Sunday) and I stopped, looked at them and said: “This is so delicious, I’m so glad I can eat”, my mum always says how lucky we’re to always have this amazing food on the table, to enjoy it with an amazing company of course 👨👩👧 and hey, don’t forget the glass of wine to go with it 😉👌🍷. I think we can all agree that food is one of the greatest pleasures in life #foodie 🥰😋. I’m happy I see things in a different light now, not only because of this traumatic experience but also because of being able to See clearer, See with a capital “S”, some of you will understand-were you ever in a situation where you’ve been talking to someone, they were listening to you but NOT HEARING YOU? Well it’s like that… Most of us live in blindness, becoming more spiritual (and spirituality isn’t necessarily about God-lesson one ✅) means Our eyes are opening 👁. I’m not trying to teach anyone, I am just speaking from my own personal experience and the people I observe around me. That’s another thing about becoming more spiritual that I’ve seen in myself-you become more of an observer, having less or no interest in judging others around you and also caring less about opinions of others! Listening to intelligent, spiritually awakened people changes your outlook and approach to life-a start to being a different, more spiritual human being…☺️
🦋 Sometimes we should express gratitude for the small and simple things, like the scent of the rain, the taste of your favourite food or the sound of a loved one’s voice 🦋
P.S. I think this pandemic isn’t the worst thing that happened… I treat it as opportunity to educate myself🤓, meditate more🧘🏻♀️ (as someone smart recently posted on their social media: if you can’t go outside, go inside), work on my blog✍️, improve my language (I’m learning Spanish 🇪🇸💃😜) and much more, while keeping up the physiotherapy with the help of my dad 💪 and taking care of myself, eating well 🥰👍. A lot (I mean A LOT) of garlic 🤭🙉🙈. Self-development is the road I’m currently on, as well as the road to recovery. Yesterday I downloaded/started this book by Dr Wayne Dyer with a title: “Change your thoughts, Change your life” and I already recommend it. It’s funny, but I don’t have time to get bored😂💁🏻♀️. #COVID-19
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Klaudia’s journey to recovery from Locked-in syndrome (LIS) 