Admission to Neurology ward

November 2015

The next (new) chapter on my journey to recovery…

I was being moved from ICU o the Neurology ward and suddenly my excitement was gone. I was crying 😢, when the nurses kissed and hugged me goodbye, not because I was upset, but because I was terrified of the unknown😰. The only thing that was keeping me hopeful was that this was a part of the process, getting me closer to being admitted to the rehabilitation centre. What I didn’t know was that I would spend another month or so being a patient here and that my biggest nightmare was about to begin. I know what you’re thinking!…how could things get any worse after the previous posts you read?! Well I’ll have you know that YES they could…😔😥 and they most certainly did! 😱

They wheeled me upstairs on the bed, my dad and Mr P followed, carrying bags with my stuff, but most importantly the radio 📻-that was the only essential, my treasure one could say 🙈😂🤷🏻‍♀️, the only item I cared about at the time…

I’m feeling terrified, but foolish to think it’ll be a change, a GOOD change perhaps – something exciting and new. It was an evening time, so my dad and Mr P wouldn’t be staying there with me for long (that was the biggest concern in my head ad the time). My bed is wheeled to this side room with a space for only two beds, with a doorway just in front of my bed. The doorway was leading into the main ward (around 6-7 beds). My eyesight was only reaching one bed in the main room, the one right in front of me 🛌 . There was just space for my bed and bedside locker, comparing to the huge private ICU room I was in previously, this was like a prison cubicle (even smaller🤦🏻‍♀️). A proper downgrade👎🙈🙉-it was like swapping a new class Mercedes for an old, small Fiat 126p (🇵🇱). Small, old room, with cracked walls, paint falling off the ceiling and walls. Weird noises coming from the patient behind the curtain, right beside me. He was just like 2 metres and only a curtain separated us. It was just me and him in that side room. I asked dad (via letter board 👀) to get a quick look when no one was around, he was a young enough guy with eyes closed, constantly moving his arms, legs and head, making noises, with a respirator pumping oxygen (this sound was reminding me continually of the time I was plugged to it in ICU)…I wanted to cry😩. I didn’t want to be there and I knew they were leaving soon, because it was getting late. The nurse on duty came to us and just explained how everything worked (she wasn’t very nice 👎). She also informed us that the patient beside me had a very serious, advanced brain tumour and this was an Intensive Care Neurology ward. Great! 🤦🏻‍♀️ From ICU to Neurology ICU – what an “upgrade” 🙄. Soon I’ll be left here alone…but I don’t know any nurses (I miss ICU-never thought I would say this 🙉🙄, but I knew all of the nurses and staff there, kind of formed a bond, and they were so good to me!) This is a nightmare, I can hear that guy beside me, and the place is so scary. I can see the terrified faces of both my dad and Mr P, but they’re helpless. My dad later told me that leaving me there that night was the toughest thing he had to do yet, constantly thinking about me on the way home and throughout the night. “We’ll be back here with you early tomorrow, hang in there”… while they both kissed me goodnight. I shed many tears that night 😢 AGAIN 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ and I was so terrified, especially hearing my neighbour 🥺😒😨.

I open my eyes 👀 and it’s bright-it’s morning! – Thank God 🌤 the night is over! It’s a new day 🙂 and best of all I’ll see my dad and Mr P soon 🤗!!! Unfortunately that wasn’t the first thing I encountered that morning (to be continued…) Watch out for my next post coming soon!) ❤️🦋.

🦋 No matter what yesterday was like, birds always start the new day with a song…🦋

🦋 Every day is a NEW day. SMILE, STAY POSITIVE and GIVE YOUR BEST. Never Give Up, Miracles happen every day 🦋