The day I was told I’ll probably never speak again…😶😧

When I had the trachea in, I always thought that was the only reason I couldn’t talk (the air escaping). Again my lack of knowledge worked to my advantage…I was oblivious🤷🏻‍♀️. I allowed myself to use the images above, of some stroke survivors I know. This campaign #StillMe is very close to my heart. All of us up there 👆 went through the unfortunate locked-in syndrome 🔒😶, caused by brain stem stroke. This campaign proves that although locked-in victims are locked inside their bodies they’re STILL themselves, the exact same person, just unable to communicate. It also shows how locked-in syndrome can be overcome. I’ll say this again, I know some very successful stroke survivors who cannot communicate, but despite that they live to their best ability, some writing books, blogs etc., through the amazing eye-gaze technology 👀. I used the images of the two women, Clodagh Dunlop and Kate Allatt, because they represent the percentage of stroke survivors who broke out of locked-in syndrome, despite the diar prognosis. I know them personally and I feed myself with these kind of successful recovery stories. They both wrote amazing books on their journey-I really recommend them. I’ve started with a blog, but perhaps a book is the next step? 🤓✍️📖…never thought I had that in me🤷🏻‍♀️, but hey I have some great material for a book. So watch this space 🙉🙈🤗…

My mum always loved writing, and also had great talent for it! Something I acquired-I can conclude one thing for sure-I’m definitely not adopted, now that I think about it 🙈🙉😂😅 I have too many similarities with both of my parents 👨‍👩‍👧. She always said she’ll write a book someday 📖✍️, so perhaps we both will? 🤷🏻‍♀️ Healthy competition? Mum are you in? 🙋🏻‍♀️👭🤗 #challenge

November 2015-Neurology Ward 🇵🇱

When I was a patient in Neurology, I started seeing a Speech and Language Therapist (SLT). I was seeing her pretty much every day to do some exercises. Well, I still had the trachea in, so there was no voice, I was just mimicking her mouth movements🙄. Different letters like A,U and O. To be honest, she was talking, mostly about herself, so it wasn’t much of a therapy. Well not for me anyway, maybe for her…she needed someone to listen-perhaps she needed a psychologist? This one day (that I’ll probably never forget), she came in the morning for a session and I don’t really remember why we were on the subject of removing my trachea some day. I was convinced that once it got removed and the wound healed, speaking again was just a matter of time (that that’s my lack of knowledge about locked-in syndrome, yet again!), but at that time it was definitely better for me not knowing…at least I wasn’t worrying about it…well until that day anyway👀😶🙄…”Klaudia, you have to be prepared that when they remove your trachea, you won’t be able to talk…in fact you’ll probably never speak again” 👀👀👀 What? I was so shocked to hear that 😱 that I didn’t even shed a single tear. Millions of thoughts just flashed in front of my eyes. Only when she left the room I started sobbing 😭 like a baby. I was alone. Remember, I was this vulnerable 23 year old, without any knowledge on the subject, so I relied on professionals, and believed everything they said a 100%. When my dad and Mr P entered the room that afternoon, they found me in tears, with a red face and a huge headache from crying 😢😔🤕. They quickly grabbed the letter board, eager to find out why I was in this state. SHE-TOLD-ME-I’LL-NEVER-BE-ABLE-TO-SPEAK-AGAIN, I spelled via blinking my eyes-crying even more, thinking I’ll always communicate in this way… My dad and Mr P just rolled their eyes, so angry 😤🙄😡! “Do you remember that doctor in ICU saying you’ll never be able to breathe on your own, without the help of a respirator?!” … they were right! My rocks at the time! I still couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I cried and was upset all day, but at least I had their support and belief! That was crucial…

Yet again my hopefulness was shattered by an individual…leaving me with nothing but negativity…

What’s the moral of the story?

  1. Never let anyone tell you what you’re capable of doing, or more importantly what you’re not capable of doing.
  2. Always follow your dream(s), keep going and never give up!
  3. Always choose positivity, and block out any negativity coming your way. Even if you can feel any negative energy, just walk away if you can’t block it out.
  4. There’s more but I’m sure you can figure it out 😉 don’t want to be boring…

Always believe and keep the hopes up, like that guy in the image above 👆. I WILL get that job, I WILL walk again, I WILL succeed…whatever it is you want to achieve. I know, spoke to, read about so many survivors breaking out of locked-in syndrome, including myself, so it’s possible! Many of them use their voice to help others on their journey to recovery and also to create awareness. Becoming a motivational speaker?! Why not?! I’m already taking tiny steps towards it… I got my voice back for a reason, I must make a good use of it…💁🏻‍♀️🦋

P.S. Right after the incident, my mum was on the phone to me (from Ireland) also telling me not to believe what I heard! In fact for the next few months she would always repeat it to me, either on the phone or anytime she visited me in Poland. We always laugh about it nowadays…”I always knew you’ll be talking again”. Not being able to talk? Me? Really? If you know me, you know that I’m a talker! I rarely shut up actually 😂🙈🙉🤭, so as my mum said it was just impossible for me to stay locked-in! 🤷🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️🤗 Nothing is impossible, but that one thing was 😉🔐🔓.

🦋 Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It’s the courage to continue that counts. ~Winston Churchill 🦋

April 2020 🇮🇪-Let’s WAKE UP and STOP them 👇

I just watched the video (Thrive-attached below) this weekend and it’s so interesting. I really recommend it to everyone! Also please SHARE! If you’re interested in finding out how this world actually works you need to watch! I already knew bits, but I’ve learnt so much and it really makes sense! This “pandemic” is just another step…Bare in mind this video was made almost a decade ago😱, it was all happening back then and it’s continuing to happen today…Please just use your own brain and don’t listen to te-LIE-vision. The interview with the intelligent David Icke (link attached below) is only available via independent media, because he keeps getting censored, his talks removed from social media platforms. The interview is long, but so worth watching. I was shocked because he has been saying this for decades, writing books etc. Just like in the movie thrive (filmed almost a decade ago) he was a guest speaker there too, and he knew it back then… #FakeNews #brainwashing #WeAreInThisTogether


🦋 Your brain works just like a computer. So make sure you’re the only one programming it…🦋

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