National Rehabilitation Hospital (NRH) 🏥🇮🇪

September 2016-March 2017

I arrived at the NRH at the end of September 2016, and I was admitted to Gabriel’s Ward on the third floor. I never expected to be a patient there for this long 🙄, another 5-6 months🤦🏻‍♀️-seems to be my personal time limit, my standard for every new admission place 😂. My 4th hospital overall, second in Ireland. I’m glad to say this was my last hospital stay 🙌🤗.

I remember arriving there from Beaumont hospital. My dad was with me for the transfer part, but then had to leave for work. My mum was in work too. I was left in a corner, 7 more beds around me 👀, feeling so lonely and helpless 🥺. A nurse came to ask me some questions, to fill out some paperwork. At the end she asked if I needed anything, so I asked for my coconut water, she put it in front of me on a table. I felt so lost, I couldn’t lean forward to grab it, never mind opening it with one functional arm… did they not know that about me? I wondered 😩🤔… or was that their method of trying to make improvements in your motor skills? I’ll never know.

I decided that I would only make a single post about the NRH, because it’s not a pleasant memory. Not like any place I’ve been admitted to over the past year was a nice memory anyway. But this time was especially tough and emotional, because I was at home in Poland before, where my dad was my career, so a huge change. Also right after the admission, Mr P was leaving for a peacekeeping mission. It was another chapter of my journey to recovery, and a new place 🙄 again! So being a patient in NRH hit me hard 👊.

Being completely honest I hated the place 🤷🏻‍♀️! I don’t really have anything good to say about it, except some of the nice people I met there (both patients and staff). I enjoyed the quizzes once a week, organised by volunteers. I would never miss those 🤓. The ladies that did breathing Physiotherapy with me were lovely and positive too! Also that December I could finally spend Christmas at home 🏡👨‍👩‍👧🎄. My parents were able to take me home over the Christmas break, and since then I was going home every Saturday morning for a weekend. It was hard on Monday mornings, because I hated going back, but I tried not to show it 😔. Monday was a day of doctor’s rounds, which I thought were useless, because they always brought down my mood, but after that one awful family meeting I refused to participate. I thought there was no point, you either get used to negative situations and/or people or you remove yourself from them. I chose to remove myself and chose positivity to help me maintain a better attitude and mindset, and to improve my physical health 💪🧘🏻‍♀️ #mentalhealth

Typical day at NRH

Bright lights 💡 would wake you up between 7-8am, no matter if your timetable said you had a first session at 12am or even 4pm 🙄. Day and night staff would switch shifts in the early morning, so they would shout, and turn on the lights waking everyone up, so forget about sleeping in. No privacy, just a huge room with multiple patients in it. That was the routine. Every patient would have a weekly timetable with assigned session slots. Usually 3 a day, raging from Psychology, Physiotherapy, Occupational Therapy (OT), Speech & Language Therapy (SLT), and Aquatic therapy (if you were lucky enough to get a slot🤦🏻‍♀️🙄)- in 5 months I had maybe three or four…

As I mentioned before Physiotherapy was a joke for so called “rehabilitation hospital”, number 1 place in Ireland, where you’re on a waiting list for nearly a year. Maybe 3 hours a week, only Monday to Friday, forget about getting to use the lokomat! Overall I couldn’t bare the negativity of the place! I informed them about my huge goals, and I‘ll never forget the looks I was getting. I mentioned that horrible meeting I had with the team and my family… discussing how my future will look, that I’ll never sit or walk, because “a rugby player can only improve to a certain point!” 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️-their words, not mine! I’m not saying give false hope, but you definitely don’t have the right to take it away! That’s all that patients are/might be holding onto 🍀… There was only one positive, open minded doctor, she was from Seychelles 🇸🇨. Before I was leaving, she came to say goodbye, saying that she knows I’ll achieve great things, and that she can’t wait to see me on tv one day. Thank you for the lovely words, and believing in me 🙏🌻. I won’t ever forget that! 😊🦋

🦋 Never deprive someone of hope, it might be all they have…🦋

Concluding, a huge thank you to some lovely staff, and also thank you to all the negative people I had to face. You made me a stronger person, your negativity never stopped me from moving forward nor losing hope! 💪👣💁🏻‍♀️🦋

🦋 Master the Art of ignoring negativity. It will make your path to success a lot easier. 🦋

👆👈 Victoria Arlen 💪👣

🦋 Donations 🦋

I’m fundraising for lokomat therapy, which I’m now doing 3 times per week 💪👣. Thank you all in advance for supporting me and my creative work! 💕 Klaudia🤗🦋

€1.00

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Welcome back! 🇵🇱✈️🇮🇪

🦋 Home is not a place, it’s a feeling 🦋

I was at home in Poland for another 6 months (March-September 2016), but this time it didn’t feel so long plus it was much more pleasant 🤗. Dad’s and granny’s home cooking🤤😋, organic fruit & veg from grandparents’ garden 🍊🍒🥬🍎🍋, freshly caught fish by grandad 🎣🐟, surrounded by family 👨‍👩‍👧💕, and plenty of sun ☀️were just some of many advantages. The food was such a huge change compared to hospital food, even though my dad was always buying me extra food from the shop. Main meals were provided by the rehabilitation centre/hospital, with no chance of cooking by yourself. Funny story actually 😂🙉 just reminded myself…every dinner I was getting these steamed meatballs, everyday the same! 😱🍽🧆, so after a week or so, my dad just grabbed the plate and took it to the kitchen, to find out what was happening?! You will never guess why I was getting the same boiled/steamed boring main course every day 🙈🙉 the reason is actually very funny 😂. “Your daughter is on a special diet plan”… “Special diet? For what🤔?!”... It turned out that according to them I had a liver problem/damage 🤷🏻‍♀️. First time I heard to be honest 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️ It was news to me 😁! Anyway that got straightened out, so no more meat balls for me 😜🙌-Thank God 🙏😇. What a choice for a patient with a liver problem anyway 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄. At least they were boiled, not fried…😮. They seriously needed to fire the nutritionist working there 🤭🤫! (Just my opinion-harsh but honest!) 😅🤷🏻‍♀️🙊. As a nutritionist you’re supposed to improve people’s health through food, it’s so important, especially in a hospital environment, where people go with multiple health issues and the main goal is to heal themselves, right?!🤔 I’ve seen that across the board-very poor, non-nutritious food in hospitals/nursing homes, etc. But that’s a totally separate problem-HUGE issue that needs fixing (again just in my opinion). I’m talking from experience…I’ve been there, and I’ve seen it…👎❌

“Let food be thy medicine, and medicine be thy food”

~Hippocrates

I had private physiotherapy Monday to Saturday at home usually twice a day, my dad was my main carer, and my mum was working and living in Ireland 🤷🏻‍♀️. It wasn’t ideal, and we had to get back… Mr P along with my mum applied for my admission to the National Rehabilitation Centre (NRH) Dún Laoghaire. As I mentioned in my previous post I was really excited about going there, because I heard amazing things about the place, but most of all they had this amazing machine there-Robotic Gait Training 👣. Little did I know, I would never get to use it 🙄🥺 (that’s the lokomat therapy that I’m doing now at An Saol). Yet another place I heard “amazing” things about 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄, I should have learnt my lesson the first time 🤷🏻‍♀️, but you live and learn. Now I don’t believe until I actually see for myself, especially about a rehabilitation place being wonderful! 🙄

Here are some videos from my rehabilitation in Poland 👇

Don’t mind my hair! 😅🤦🏻‍♀️😂🤪

🛩🏨 Beaumont Hospital-September 2016 🇮🇪

Ready for a brain scan with contrast 🩹🩺💊💉🩸

From Dublin airport I went straight to Beaumont hospital for some tests and brain scans, before I could be admitted to NRH. Hospital again 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄 for a week. My parents were with me during the day for a few hours, and Mr P would visit in the evenings. But at night I was all alone 😨😓🥺. First night I was in the main ward, with other patients, our beds separated by a curtain. The next day I was moved to a private side room. It was better for privacy, however no one would check on me, unless I pressed the call bell 🛎. That was fine during the day, because I would usually have someone there, or staff would come in and out to bring food, carry out some tests and doctor’s rounds etc. At night, the whole ward would be very quiet 🤫, and kind of scary if you ask me 😣😱…

One night I woke up for some reason, I don’t exactly remember why 🤷🏻‍♀️. Either to be repositioned-because of discomfort, or I was cold and needed help fixing the covers. I went to press the bell, that was close to me on my bed, and you won’t believe what happened…🤦🏻‍♀️🙄 the bell fell on the ground before I managed to press it! 🤬😳😰What now!? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I looked around 👀 and started calling for help. Unfortunately no one was coming. I waited and waited, listening out for anyone passing the corridor outside my room door 👀👂🏼. Very rarely there was any movement outside, and whenever I could hear someone passing by I would call again…and again…and again, but nothing! I couldn’t fall back asleep, so I kept trying to call for help 🗣🆘, until I finally gave up. It took a very long time to fall back asleep, I must have been very uncomfortable, or cold 🥶. I’ll never forget that night…this time I was in the room alone, not like months ago in neurology ward (when similar situation took place🙄-post called “HELP). This time I was all alone, thank God it wasn’t an emergency that was life threatening, because there was no way I could alert anyone to help me…but hey! What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger 💪 isn’t that what they say? If that’s true then by now I’m pretty indestructible 💪💁🏻‍♀️🦾🧘🏻‍♀️. Next step, NRH Dún Laoghaire-in my next post 🦋🤗.

🦋 When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let is destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you…🦋

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🦋 Donatiouns

I’m fundraising for lokomat therapy, which I’m now doing 3 times per week 💪👣. Thank you all in advance for supporting me and my creative work! 💕 Klaudia🤗🦋

€1.00

Goodbye hospital 👋🏥, Hello “home”🏠

March 2016-Żywiec, Poland 🇵🇱

After 6 long months, October 2015-March 2016, we were finally leaving the hospital to go home 👋🙌🙆🏻‍♀️. Yaaay! That GIF attached above 👆 best describes how I felt 😂! If only I could run… I’m calling the rehabilitation centre a hospital, because I couldn’t see much of a difference, in fact no difference really, and I’m saying home in inverted commas, because a huge part of my heart was in Ireland-my mum, my friends, my boyfriend at the time, and the life I built over a decade living there! Nearly half of my life back then (2015), over half of my life now (2020). The real reason behind this decision was the fact that we needed to take matters into our own hands, especially that they didn’t want to remove my PEG feeding tube (when I was already taking in foods + liquids orally for weeks🙄) nor my trachea-I’ll definitely have a separate paragraph on this only, because it’s a story worth mentioning (read below 👇)… I managed to get them to remove my catheter, as I absolutely hated it, and I was ready, practicing continence everyday after Kate’s departure. My dad would close the tube that was attached to the bag collecting the urine, for a few hours every day, so the bladder would get used to holding in urine. This was the bladder training exercise proposed to me by Kate, and it worked very well! I was so happy to get rid of it! One tube down, two more to go 👍👊✌️

The fight for removal of trachea 🙄👊😤…and trust me it was a BIG, looong one!

I had to keep the trachea to get admitted to GCR Repty-Rehailitation centre, and in my head this was the place where they would remove it. At this stage I had it for 4 months-since October, and yes it saved my life, allowing me to breathe, however it was time to remove it. This tube in my throat, was getting very painful, also disturbing the rehabilitation process. Never mind the second tube in my stomach! Had to be very careful with it, also annoying me and stopping me from doing more in physiotherapy😫. It was March, and since January I knew I was ready to remove my trachea, as well as the PEG feed tube in my stomach, but the trachea was bothering me the most, therefore becoming my priority. I started saying this to my doctor non stop, but she wouldn’t listen, constantly giving me the reasons for leaving it in, and making bazzare excuses, like my breathing not being strong enough, what if? even that the ambulance wouldn’t make it on time if I couldn’t breathe, and as a result I would die! 🙄🙉🙈🤦🏻‍♀️ Finally I got her on board-kind of! I would have to have all tests done for swallowing, and see a laryngologist for a professional examination, so he could determine that I was in fact ready to have the trachea removed, and that it was safe to do so. The day I was impatiently waiting for has arrived. The appointment with laryngologist. I passed every single test and in his opinion the trachea could be removed, but I didn’t know that that doctor of mine was calling all the shots🙄😑🤦🏻‍♀️ she quickly ran to his office, and he suddenly changed his narrative! Of course 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄 Ugh 🤬. Since that day, at every single week at doctor’s rounds I would just repeat myself about removing the trachea, and every time I heard a NO😤! Backed up by stupid, non logical explanations. I could eat, drink, breath, cough, you name it! The scar on my neck was more and more painful, and bleeding because the wound wanted to close up, but couldn’t because of the plastic tube running through it. I can’t express how annoyed and frustrated I was…it’s my body, I know exactly what it needs and feel that I’m so ready for this next step. But I’m being stopped by the medical staff because I don’t have their permission. I mean the main people in charge-my doctor and the main boss right above her. The director of the centre, who would always ask me questions at the rounds. I can’t say I liked the woman, but I definitely let her know that I’m not stopping until I get that trachea removed, as well as expressing my unhappiness each time I’ve seen her. After the rounds one week, the physiotherapist who was always present at the rounds said to me, while smiling: “OMG 😅😂 if only a look could kill” 👀🤷🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️. I guess she got the message 🤷🏻‍♀️😜😂.

I shed a few tears 😢 leaving GCR Repty Rehabilitation Centre, but not because I was upset to be leaving. I was emotional saying goodbye to the people who made my stay more pleasant, as well as the staff that were nice, and took good care of me! I thank them all again now, and I’ll never forget them ☺️💕. Especially Psychologist, Speech & Language Therapists and physiotherapist. Daniela, Ania, Dorota and Asia. Thank you for everything girls, and for always putting a smile on my face! 🇵🇱Dziękuje Wam! 💜💜💜💜🌻🌻🌻🌻

Home sweet home 🏡-March 2016 🇵🇱

I knew I had to leave this place to move on, and get things done ✅. It later turned out that we’ve made the right decision, because once you leave trachea pipe in for too long the wound might never close up and heal😲. So thank God 🙏, or I would be fitted a permanent metal tube in my throat for lifetime😳.

Back in my hometown hospital my dad had to sign forms, stating that we request, as well as take full responsibility for both the trachea, and PEG feeding tube to be removed. Thank God 🙏 those forms could be signed to get the procedures done (my initiative, as professionals didn’t recommend it, nor agreed it was time). I wasn’t concerned even a little bit, I knew well, and felt I was ready. I think that was probably the start of me listening to my body 🧘🏻‍♀️ really tuning in 👂🏼👀. Your body your choice, right🙄!? I was back home! 🥰, but most importantly I was tube less 👊💪👌! It might not seem like a BIG achievement, but for me it was a HUGE step forward, to where I was pre stroke, step by step💪👣.

I will never forget the reasoning of one of the doctors before removal surgery, asking me and my dad: “Are you sure about removing this PEG feed?”… “Why?”… “You know it’s better keeping it just in case”… “In case what!?”… “In case your daughter has another stroke, it would be nearly impossible to insert it back in”… 👀😳… We couldn’t believe what we were hearing! Me and my dad laughed about it later, imagine my dad replying then: “Yeah, it’s better you place a PEG feeding tube in my stomach just in case, you never know I might need one in 10 years or so” 🙄🤣 seriously…where’s the logic in that? Anyway I’m here years later, without any fake tubes in my body, doing just fine. I’m so glad we left that hospital/rehabilitation centre, and that I listened to my body. Still it was a little too late, and that’s why my trachea scar is more visible than some people that also had it. But it healed, and I’m proud of it! 👊💪 It’s my own special “war” sign-a sign of healing 👇

🦋 A scar simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you. It means the hurt is over and the wound is closed. It means you conquered the pain, learned a lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward 🦋

🦋 My scars tell a story. They are a reminder of times when life tried to break me, but failed. They are markings of where the structure of my character was welded 🦋

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🦋 Donations 🦋

I’m fundraising for lokomat therapy, which I’m now doing 3 times per week 💪👣. Thank you all in advance for supporting me, and my creative work! 💕 Klaudia🤗🦋

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“It’s not who you are that holds you back. It’s who you think you’re not”

@Kate Allatt

No comment needed 👈😶 👉🗣

🦋 The worst thing about a disability is that people see it before they see you… Remember that disability is just an inability to see ability 🦋

Intensive Care Unit-Żywiec 🇵🇱

The first video I watched in Intensive Care Unit (ICU) was the video of Kate ☝️. Mr P played it for me, gluing his phone using just tape, to some kind of monitor above my head, that could be pulled in front of me 👀, so I had a good view. I don’t exactly remember which video it was, as there’s so many on her YouTube channel, but that’s not important, my mum introduced me to her brain injury before playing the video. When they pressed play ▶️, I saw this woman, standing on stage, waving her hands and looking like nothing ever happened -giving a speech 🗣🤩🙉 wow, I thought… I couldn’t picture her, laying in an ICU bed back in 2010, locked inside this lifeless body, like I was at the time. Just seemed impossible! Kate suffered the same type of brain stem stroke as me back in 2010, also leaving her with Locked-in syndrome (LIS). Today she’s a public speaker, visiting and motivating survivors, walking and even running again. The first book read to me in ICU was written by her-called “Running Free”. Seeing the videos and hearing her story was the first time I thought 💭…okay it’s possible to recover from this brain injury. As I mentioned in my previous posts, I was clueless about this injury, as well as the situation I was in. Before then I had very mixed feelings, but it definitely opens your eyes wide when you can see someone that was in the same situation as you, and then post recovery. Months later, when I was finally able to use my left arm, I researched Kate online, and I couldn’t believe the photos and videos I saw of her before versus post recovery 😲🤩! Made me feel very positive and hopeful. I encourage you to check out her YouTube channel-very interesting!

Feels like I’ve written this 👇 (paragraph from Kate’s book). I was literally feeling the same 🙄, word by word. Buried alive! 😶

GCR Repty Rehabilitation Centre-January 2016 🇵🇱

One early morning in January, just a few days after becoming unlocked, my dad changed my shower to a day earlier than my usual routine -I had no idea why, neither did I have any suspicion about what was going to happen the next day. I was just lying in bed, clueless, suddenly the door to my room opens, and I see Kate Allat, approaching me with a BIG smile on her face. It was so unexpected, and I was very emotional meeting her-I cried like a baby 😭. That day she spent around 4-5 hours by my bedside, telling me about her experiences, and written down advice. I remember we’ve made a plan about getting rid of my catheter, she advised me on how to practice controlling my bladder, before taking it out. She was surprised that I was breaking out from locked-in syndrome, already making sounds and trying to create some sentences. She signed ✍ my copy of her book before leaving. This happened just hours ago after 👇 Kate mentioned this in her speech (also attached below 👇 From 4:30 onwards-“My Life Without Limits”)

My right weaker hand -turning over and closing fingers improved overnight 👍✋✊💪

March 2017-Ireland 🇮🇪

Kate visited again in March 2017, while on her trip to Ireland to give a speech at Trinity College Dublin (TCD). That weekend she stayed at my house with me and my parents. We chatted, done some therapy-while she guided me, and recorded the exercises 🎬🎥. I’ll share the videos she took 👇 and that was 3 years ago 🙉🙈…WOW! 😱😮. Of course after the hard work, we all had some drinks and chats 🥰🍷! It was a great weekend-Amazing to spend some quality time with someone who REALLY UNDERSTANDS! A fellow stroke survivor, who was through it, and most importantly looking at her walk, sit independently, talk, lift a glass etc. 👣👌💪 a proof that nothing is impossible...It’s worth mentioning that Kate was initially told that she’d never talk or walk again! Well she is a public speaker 👏. I’m still in touch with her today, and I really recommend watching her videos and reading her book. She inspired many people, and keeps doing that today…something I hope to do in the future 🤗💁🏻‍♀️.

Here are the videos Kate recorded back in 2017 👇🏋️‍♀️
So we went smaller… 😂🙉🥝👇

My advice to other disabled people would be, concentrate on things your disability doesn’t prevent you from doing well, and don’t regret things it interferes with. Don’t be disabled in spirit, as well as physically”

Stephen Hawking

Kate started this #StillMe campaign through Facebook, so stroke survivors could post their pictures post injury with an attached hashtag saying “StillMe”, proving that no matter the circumstances and extense of the injury they’re still the same on the inside. It’s what on the inside that really counts! Hope Unlocked Brainstem Stroke Locked In Syndrome-is the Facebook page that Kate created, so survivors, families, anyone affected, or working with a person affected by a brain injury or locked in syndrome can become a member of. It’s amazing that through it we can all communicate and connect. Share experiences and advice 👌 #StillMe

🦋 Greatness is inspiring others to be their best. Always be there for others. Always inspire them with your dreams and hopes, visions and mission, attitude and aptitude. When you do some good work, and if it inspires others, then you have just created the ripple effect 🦋

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One of the motivational videos I received from Kate 💪💕

🦋 Donations 🦋

I’m fundraising for lokomat therapy, which I’m now doing 3 times per week 💪👣. Thank you all in advance for supporting me and my creative work! 💕 Klaudia🤗🦋

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Update on what I’m doing now 👇🤗 Intensive Lokomat Therapy 👣💪
Lokomat therapy- August 2020 👣💪

☀️An Saol☀️

http://www.ansaol.ie

An Saol in Irish means “life” ☘️🇮🇪. The An Saol Foundation was set up by Reinhard Schaler (🇩🇪)-father of Pádraig, who suffered a severe brain injury back in 2013, while on a J1 visa in Cape Cod. Despite diar prognosis, with little hope or no chance of recovery, his parents didn’t give up! Letting him fight, and inspire others today! 👏

I knew of this foundation and met Reinhard, and his wife during an event, raising funds for Pieta house about 2 years ago. I was aware of the project that started in 2016. Little to my knowledge, after 4 years, the dream came true. Another reason showing that you should never give up! Reinhard was on Ireland AM, speaking about his son and the project in 2016, which was just a dream back then 👇 Proof that dreams certainly do come true 🧚‍♀️🌟

https:R//youtu.be/Xy3vJTULyog

As you are all aware I started fundraising for weight support system therapy on my blog via the donation button. For the past few weeks I was looking for such therapy, also called the Lokomat or Robotic Gait Training. I know that there’s one in National Rehabilitation Hospital (NRH) Dun Laoghaire, where I was a patient in the end of 2016-start of 2017, however I never actually trained on it 🤷🏻‍♀️. Unfortunately I have never seen it being used while I as there for nearly 5 months🙄 and it’s only available for in-patients. I remember asking them on multiple occasions to be put on it, it was actually the reason I was excited for the admission, and the reply I was getting each time was: “We don’t have enough staff”, or “it’s not appropriate for you now”🙄. After NRH, the only option for a brain injury patient is a nursing home 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️. An Saol Foundation is the beginning of change-positive change for people like me. I found one lokomat available in Dublin, however it was sent to USA for servicing before the lockdown. When I contacted the place again few days ago, I received the sad news that it’s no longer available 😞. I was really upset, but started looking for another one in Ireland. I found one, but in Limerick 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ (165km car ride), I thought well that’s far away, but I was prepared to travel, just to avail of that service. I was supposed to call this week to book a session…BUT on Thursday afternoon, a friend of mine, who used to take care of me messaged me that she’s now working for this foundation “An Saol”, and they are having an open day on Friday 10th of July 2020, and most of all they have the Lokomat there 🙉🙉🙉 Wow 🤩, I thought, not only is it located near me, but they have exactly what I’m looking for? This cannot be happening…another example of the power of attraction 🤗.

During Robot-assisted gait training (RAGT), a patient is placed in a supportive harness above a treadmill, and a robotic exoskeleton is attached to the lower limbs, making them move, helping to take steps on a treadmill, rewiring the brain (neuroplasticity) 💪👣🧠. You can really do robotic therapy at any stage of your recovery-there’s no such ting as inappropriate or not the right time🙄. Actually the earlier the better 👍, it should be done at early stages as well as later. Patients do it so they are in a standing position, for better circulation, so the legs get some stimulation/movement and signals fire to the brain 🧠👌. It can be only passive or a little active, therefore there is never the wrong time-like I was told in the NRH🙄🤦🏻‍♀️. Few months ago my physiotherapist recommended that the lokomat would be a great addition to my rehabilitation and complement it, trying to re-teach me how to walk. I’m now ready to actively take steps with the help of the machine-something like this isn’t possible with just physiotherapists! They cannot physically lift you, as well as move your legs. Sooo ..this happened on Friday 10th of July. 👇 a moment to remember, and the next BIG step (literally 😊) on my journey to recovery 👇

10th of July 2020 🇮🇪

When I arrived at the An Saol premises that day I was stunned! All the great equipment under one roof…😱 please pinch me, because it feels like I’m dreaming! The Erigo, Lokomat, and the Andago 👇

I can easily say that I haven’t seen such facility in Ireland. I would also say it’s the first of this kind! 🥰 It’s a dream come true for so many families, survivors who acquired a brain injury, staff employed there, who want to help and be a part of the rehabilitation process and recovery. It’s my dream come true also, I’m so excited that this equipment is available for my further rehabilitation. It’s a reality now…it’s happening 👣💪. I was actively engaging in the training that day, the next day my thighs and calfs were super sore 🙉🙈, but I was delighted because no pain no gain, right?! 💪I haven’t felt this feeling for over 4 years now…seeing myself walking in the mirror-felt so great and so natural. The perfect image. And the pain?..well it was a good pain, like after a gym workout 🏋️‍♀️☺️🥰👌💪

🦋 The most beautiful people are the ones who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths… Beautiful people do not just happen 🦋

A magical place like this would never come to existence without people’s enthusiasm, dedication and hard work. Especially without these two people and their families ☝️. I already mentioned Pádraig at the start of this post (on the right 👉), who continues to inspire today, and his parents. Reinhard’s love for his son motivated him towards helping others. During the opening, I learnt of Sara Walsh (on the left 👈), and researched her story. For her everything changed back in 2011, her and Pádraig have been patients in the same hospital-that’s when the two families met. Sadly she passed away in 2015. Her parents (who were present at the opening of An Saol), donated money that they fundraised for their daughter to this foundation. I never knew Sara, but it’s amazing that even though she’s an angel in heaven now 😇, she has made an imprint on my life, and will continue to do so on many people in the future. Memory of her will never die… I was thinking isn’t it so inspirational that I’m now training on this Lokomat, that’s in her name? It makes you think…definitely made me think, and be grateful! I feel like Sara is one of my angels now, looking at me on the Lokomat, from above and smiling ☺️. Her mum was a guest on RTÉ radio back in 2015, speaking about her daughter, and the experience of intensive therapy in Germany 👇 (Sara’s mum is a guest on the show from 1:17:00 onwards)

https://www.rte.ie/radio/radioplayer/html5/#/radio1/10407468

Lastly I would like to thank everyone who made An Saol possible, opening new doors for so many families, and people living with a brain injury in Ireland. THANK YOU! 🦋

🦋 As with a butterfly, adversity is needed to build character in people…🦋

🦋Donations🦋

Donations will go towards further rehabilitation costs, and also in support of my creative work. The next BIG step on my journey to recovery is the body weight support system therapy 👣💪. Thank you in advance for your help and support ! Klaudia❤️🦋

€1.00

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15th of July 2020

5 days later, second time on the lokomat-already much straighter and more relaxed 😌 👣💪 1000 steps more than the first time!

P.S. A huge thank you to my dad 💑 for driving me to therapy, and being there with me! Your sacrifice, support, time, and belief in me are priceless ♥️ I Love You ♥️

Inspirational message #1

🦋 The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it and join the dance 🦋

🦋 The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new 🦋

June 2020 🇮🇪

So yesterday I got some devastating news, probably something I feared the most, but didn’t expect it to happen so soon😥🤷🏻‍♀️. My physiotherapist, who I worked with for the past 3 years is leaving the job in the rehabilitation centre that I’m in. It’s just another BIG change on my journey to recovery. It’s very hard to really click with your physiotherapist -I would actually say it’s half of the success in the process of recovery👣💪. We have built a bond, like a friendship, and it took time to get comfortable and build trust. I cannot hide that I was feeling really low and upset on hearing the news, but we cannot control what happens to us, however we CAN control how we react and then cope with it! That’s exactly why I’m focusing on the second part of that sentence.

I was thinking to use this experience to write a post, and share. I decided to call this post an inspirational message. This is the first one (#1) to my readers, to maybe just make you think🤔? and smile? 😊 I’m sure you will find inspiration, positivity and motivation reading this, and the powerful quotes attached- (I love a good quote🥰, they’re always uplifting me🤗). I’m also certain that you can relate no matter the situation, whether you’re on a similar journey to mine or not. As I said before we’re all on a journey🤗, because life is the biggest journey in itself! We all go through, and have to deal with multiple changes in our everyday lives, so this message is universal and applies to everyone… I use meditation 🧘🏻‍♀️, as a technique to deal with many different things. It helps me relax and cope with any situations life throws at me. It’s a very powerful technique, but I’ll make a separate post dedicated just to this concept! Meditation helps to change how we react and cope with situations, the things we have control of. I’m going to attach one video below 👇

🦋 Train your mind to see the good in everything. Positivity is a choice. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts…🦋

Change is always scary and tough, but life will only change when you become more committed to your dreams than you’re to your comfort zone. I’m seeing this as a positive change, definitely pushing me out of my comfort zone, and I always believe that everything happens for a reason. Never let the prospect of change scare you. I say NO to the fear of change 💪.

Thank you for everything Mr K🇬🇷! I’m so grateful for your continuous support, patience, positivity and belief in my recovery. Overall for working with me for the past 3 years. Until we meet again! 🤗🦋 #grateful

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance”

Eckhart Tolle

🦋 Donations 🦋

I’m now accepting donations for further rehabilitation costs, and also in support of my creative work. The next BIG step on my journey to recovery is the body weight support system therapy 👣💪. I set up the amount for €1, but you can simply type in the preferred amount in the box below , beside the “pay with PayPal” button👇Thank you for the support! Klaudia ❤️🦋

€1.00

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Unlocked! 🔐🔓🙌

#beating locked-in syndrome 👊💪🗣

🦋 People with Locked In Syndrome (LIS) may not be able to speak or answer to their name, but they can still hear your words and feel your kindness…🦋

January 2015-GCR Repty 🇵🇱

When I arrived at the rehabilitation centre in Repty, I was assigned a Speech and Language Therapist (SLT). I was seeing her every morning to do some breathing exercises, as well as mimicking letters of the alphabet. I liked sessions with Ania (that was her name, in English it translates to Ann). I liked her approach, she treated me like a friend, and we “talked” about everything. I’m putting the word talked in inverted commas again, because I couldn’t make any sounds 😶👀, I just nodded and smiled for the first (nearly) 2 months there🤦🏻‍♀️🙄. Being locked in 🔒 was so awful, and by then it was like 4 months of being null by mouth! 😒😩 I was really sick of it, and when doing the exercises without any sound coming out, I couldn’t help but think of that Speech and Language Therapist back in the Neurology ward, telling me I would probably never be able to speak again 👀😢. But Ania believed in me, she was very passionate about her job-and I love that in people. I remember she was planning her wedding back then, so she would tell me all about it, and show me the wedding dress. I am a woman 💁🏻‍♀️, and I love anything to do with fashion 🥰👗👠, therefore I was all in!

The WOW moment 🤩

One morning in January of 2015, we had our session as usual. I was just mouthing letters of the alphabet, soundlessly😶👀. Ania then asked me to whisper the letter A, and then with all the efforts try to shout it out!! 🗣Aaaa, 👀 OMG! I can’t believe it! Her face dropped 😮. I could definitely hear the sound Aaa, right? 👀, or is this just a dream? Pinch me! … We both couldn’t stop smiling ☺️😊🤗 “try again”-says Ania, yes! I was making a sound! 🗣Aaa 🗣Bbb 🗣Ccc… unlocked 🔐🔓! Straight away we called in my dad and Mr P! They were ecstatic!

There was no stopping me then 🤷🏻‍♀️… I’ll never forget shouting at the television, watching the European Qualification Tournament for the 2016 Summer Olympics. The Polish Men’s team played in it, and that was SO exciting for me to watch. Especially that I love volleyball 🥰🏐 and they were playing very well too 🙌👍🇵🇱! “POLSKA, BIAŁO-CZERWONII”! 🗣🇵🇱 I screamed at the 📺. People, especially my fellow stroke survivors always ask me how long it took me after this to improve, and be able to speak normally again? To be honest, I feel like for me it was just a case of getting the sound out again?! Because after that day I could pretty much say anything 🗣. I even remember reading some Polish tongue twisters to my granny over the phone 📞 (🇵🇱“W Szczebrzeszynie chrząszcz brzmi w trzcinie”🙈🙉😂, all the Polish people definitely know this one). I’m actually going to attach a video of some Polish tongue twisters below 🤗🤭👇. It was much slower at first and slurred, but that didn’t last very long. Every stroke is different. For me, I didn’t have to learn how to talk again, I remembered everything, but waiting for the sound to come out was the KEY 🔑. It took 4 LOOONG months! 🔐🔓🗣 #beatinglockedin or should I say BET locked-in 👊💪

1:00, the one about the beetle 🙈🙉 is the one I was challenging myself with after becoming unlocked 😂😜- I never said Polish was an easy language 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️😂🤭🇵🇱

🦋PLEASE DON’T JUDGE PEOPLE. You don’t know what it took someone to get out of bed, look and feel as presentable as possible, and face the day. You never truly know the daily struggles of others…🦋

My advice to anyone reading this, that is a parent, a partner, a friend, a doctor, a nurse, a carer, any staff/family member caring for/dealing with someone with a Locked-in syndrome (LIS), or a person who is nonverbal due to maybe a coma, autism, etc. Nonverbal doesn’t mean that a person has nothing to say 👀😶, it simply means you will have to LISTEN with more than just your ears!…Never assume someone “isn’t there”, just because they’re nonverbal, or maybe have their eyes closed! They might just seem like they cannot hear you, because there’s no sign of any communication. I know from my own experience and read, heard of so many stories…recently one of the girls caring for me, a qualified nurse told me such story when I was telling her about the time I was locked-in. Sometime ago, when she was working as a nurse in Intensive Care Unit (ICU) back in her country, she was caring for a young guy that was in a coma-I don’t know the details, but he had his eyes shut, as well as being nonverbal. Of course all the staff there would treat him as a patient in a so called “vegetative state”, just doing their job, without addressing him whatsoever 🙄 I use a metaphor of “a factory worker” treatment-just throwing a person around carelessly, like a piece of meat 😠. Except her, she used to speak to him about what was going on in the world, the weather outside, or just very simple things, like describing what she was doing to him at that specific time. Not thinking much of it, telling me she just wanted to be nice and treat him equally to every other patient-not knowing if he could even hear anything. Well…it turns out that he did 👂🏼! The first thing he said when he woke from his coma was 👀 “who is this girl, who always spoke to me?”. To cut long story short, he recovered, went on to study in college and they’re still in touch today. I loved that story…I love when she said “I didn’t care if he could hear me or not…I just acted like he could”. More medical staff like her please! With me they knew well I could hear everything, processed everything without my cognition affected at all (that’s LIS🙄🤦🏻‍♀️Very cruel condition), even my eyes were always opened and reacting 👀, yet very few people treated me “normally” 🙄. Actually I’m able to speak now again, and I still come across care staff who don’t address me…”does she need this?” -Emmm Hello 🙋🏻‍♀️ I’m right here, I can talk, and you can just ask me?! Nothing annoys me more 😠🤦🏻‍♀️…but if sometimes I’m still treated like this, I can only imagine how the nonverbal people feel! I’m their voice today in this post. I got my voice back for a reason 🗣💁🏻‍♀️🦋 #StillMe

🦋 There needs to be a lot more emphasis/focus on what someone CAN do, instead of what they cannot do…🦋

🦋 Donations 🦋

Donations will go towards further rehabilitation costs, and also in support of my creative work. The next BIG step on my journey to recovery is the body weight support system therapy 👣💪. Thank you in advance for all your help and support! Klaudia❤️🦋

€1.00

☝️Follow My Blog☝️-type your email address and click subscribe above ☝️you’ll receive an email address confirmation link to your inbox/SPAM, click on that to confirm. You’ll now be notified of any new posts via email ❤️🦋!

Grounding 🌎 👣

🦋 Get yourself grounded and you can navigate even the stormiest roads in peace 🦋

June 2020 🇮🇪

I’ve heard about grounding many times before, but after watching this documentary “Earthing Movie-The Remarkable Science of Grounding” (available on YouTube) I became super interested in the concept. I decided to research this subject more and try it out on myself, as it really interested and intrigued me 🤓💁🏻‍♀️. Today I’m going to blog about the information I obtained, and also to share my own experience.

👣

Let me start by defining grounding, because actually many people don’t know what it means…

Earthing (also known as grounding) refers to contact with the Earth’s surface electrons by walking barefoot outside or sitting, working, or sleeping indoors connected to conductive systems, some of them patented, that transfer the energy from the ground into the body.

PubMed

In other words, grounding or earthing is a therapeutic technique that focuses on realigning your electrical energy by reconnecting to the earth 👣🌍

👣

From reading and research, I found out that grounding is currently a very under-researched topic, with very few scientific studies on the benefits. However most recent research has explored grounding for:

  • Inflammation
  • Cardiovascular disease
  • Muscle damage
  • Chronic pain
  • and Mood

In a nutshell in one small study on grounding and heart health, 10 healthy participants were grounded using patches on their palms and soles of their feet. Blood measurements were taken before and after to see any changes in blood cell fluidity. The results showed a significant reduction in blood clumping, which definitely has huge benefits for the cardiovascular health. Thicker blood can lead to heart diseases like stroke (💁🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️), heart attack and so on, due to blood clot formation and higher blood pressure. Results of one treatment study, found that long-term self-administered grounding therapy helped to reduce blood pressure levels in participants with hypertension. 👍❤️ #hearthealth

Another (larger) study looked at the role of grounding on muscle damage (post-exercise). Both grounding patches and mats were used and measured creatine kinase, white blood cell count, and pain levels before and after grounding. The blood work indicated that muscle damage and pain were reduced after grounding. This suggests that grounding may influence healing abilities? In a study for exercise recovery after grounding showed that those who used grounding patches reported lower pain levels 💪. This research is supported by a recent study on grounding for pain reduction and mood improvement, where 16 massage therapists altered between periods of grounding and no grounding. Before grounding therapy, physical and emotional stress and pain were common side effects of their physically demanding jobs. After the earthing therapy, pain, stress, depression, and fatigue were all reduced among participants. Many reported decreased levels of fatigue after just 4 weeks of treatment with grounding mats. The massage therapists also experienced an improvement in sleep length and reduced sleep disturbances with grounding therapy. 😴👍

Most of the research and studies on grounding are very small and there’s a shortage, so definitely more research is needed-especially on inflammation. Still today, some health professionals believe that the benefits of grounding therapy may come simply from feeling like you’re reconnected to nature. Regardless, there is no harm, right!? 🧘🏻‍♂️🧘🏻‍♀️😌🦋

☝️ That was the scientist in me taking over☝️👩‍⚕️🤓🧐🤪 Proof of the studies mentioned can be found on PubMed.

I’m going to leave the research part at that (you can look into it yourself, if interested). I’m going to move on now to my own experience. Since watching the documentary I started experimenting with grounding myself 👣💁🏻‍♀️. Since I’m not able to walk, never mind walking barefoot, I’m doing my physiotherapy outside in the garden (using up this opportunity of being home, due to lockdown). Only when the weather allows, of course☀️ (which surprisingly happens a lot these days 👌😎💁🏽‍♀️. I practice standing outside, barefoot, with my dad‘s help. I usually stand up for few minutes and a few times, with a break in between, when I sit down, my dad presses on my knees, so my feet are flat on the ground. It’s very helpful and I’m glad to have this opportunity, as my wheelchair is always in tilt and my feet on the footplates. Since the stroke and being wheelchair bound I never ground 🙄, but to be honest most people who are able to walk don’t ground either 🤷🏻‍♀️. Think about it! 🤔 We wear shoes all day, going to school, university, work etc., then we come home and wear sleepers before going to bed, which also isn’t grounded. Anytime we’re outside we are wearing shoes most of the time 🙉🙈, so we live our lives never, or very rarely grounding.

A very funny anecdote, from back when I was a kid, spending summer holidays in my grandparents house in the countryside (🇵🇱) 👧🏻👩🏻‍🦳👨‍🦳. One summer I remember my grandmother constantly encouraging me to walk barefoot on the grass in the garden: “Klauduś, please take them shoes off”…but there was no way of splitting the relationship between little Klaudia and her shoes 🙉🙈😂. In fact anytime I was barefoot on the grass I walked like I was walking on needles 😂👧🏻👣. I don’t know when the changed happened or how, but one day I ran upstairs to the kitchen, of course leaving the shoes at the bottom of the stairs (we were never allowed inside the house with shoes on). My grandmother was in the kitchen making me a sandwich, I quickly grabbed it and before my granny even turned around I was at the bottom of the stairs shouting: “I’m going to Ilona’s house”, she was my friend there, that lived just next door. After only few minutes my grandmother walked downstairs, to see my shoes just laying there 🙉😂, I cannot help but laugh every time I think of this story. To get to her house you had to walk on grass, concrete, stones, you name it! And I ran up there without shoes! 😂 My grandmother wanted me to walk barefoot just on the grass and just sometimes, but from that day on she had to make me put my shoes on, because I never wanted to wear them 😂. Anyway, at least I was grounding most of my childhood. What’s very interesting is that the older generation just knew it was good for you to walk barefoot 👣. This knowledge must have been passed on throughout generations, and we definitely lost that! Children want to walk barefoot, and I can’t help but hear everywhere around me parents saying: “put your shoes on!”. It’s very interesting because kids still have those instincts that we lose as we grow up. Why do they want to walk on the grass without their shoes on? Coincidence? 🤔🤷🏻‍♀️👣

👣

Coming back to the documentary, I loved the fact that there was a person also in a wheelchair, talking about her perspective and experience with grounding. When you’re not a wheelchair user you can simply take your shoes off and walk on the grass, on the beach, or lie down on the ground in your garden. For wheelchair users there’s alternatives available, which is great 👍, especially if you cannot weight bare, or aren’t able to get the help needed. There are:

  • Grounding mats
  • Grounding sheets and blankets
  • Grounding socks
  • Grounding bands and patches

🦋 By discovering nature you discover yourself 🦋

👣🧘🏻‍♀️Me grounding 🧘🏻‍♀️👣

“Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better”

~ Albert Einstein

After watching the documentary I decided to do my standing practice outside in the garden, barefoot of course 🤗👣. As probably most wheelchair users I suffer a little with blood circulation in my feet, they’re usually very cold from below my knees down, especially if it’s cold out (just another reason I should live in hot climate 🤷🏻‍♀️🥰😎☀️💁🏽‍♀️😂). I do it about 40-45mins altogether, even sitting down in between my dad keeps pressing on my knees, so my bare feet are touching the ground. While I am there I also visualise this energy-in the form of light 🌟 just entering my whole body, coming from Mother Earth 🌍 🥰. Something amazing happened that first time I did it! In the evening…my feet were very warm-very rarely that happens to me 🙈🙉. When I was falling asleep I had this feeling as if someone was putting fire 🔥 at the soles of my feet. Coincidence again? I never had this feeling before…

I am a HUGE believer that there’s a cure for everything in the nature! And guess what?! It’s free! I’ve experienced the power of natural alternative medicine on myself (but that’s for another, separate post) – I even have my own, private and qualified herbalist/nutritionist at home 👩‍❤️‍👩👌. Grounding is something I implemented into my life just recently, and I’ll continue to ground myself. From my experience it makes me feel great. I feel stronger and my feet are warm afterwards. Most importantly, it improves the mood, and let’s face it, our mental health is so important 🧘🏻‍♀️ I actually think it’s the most important. We need to have things organised in our heads first?… Everywhere we hear that this century is the pandemic of stress and stress-related illness. We need to do something to change that, so look after your mental health, and why not try everything that’s out there? Connect to what we disconnected from through years, perhaps that’s the answer?… In one small study, it was shown that only as little as 1 hour of grounding therapy can significantly improve mood. That’s proven 😊👍! So give it a try to see for yourself! #mentalhealth

🦋 We often forget that we are nature. Nature is not something separate from us. So when we say we have lost our connection to nature, we lost our connection to ourselves…🦋

I’ve just watched this “Proven” limited access series of documentaries last week. It’s on all the alternative medicines, proved and backed by scientific research. They mentioned a lot about grounding, so I decided to screen record some of it to attach here, and share with you. It’s actually so funny that when you’re on a specific subject you seem to attract information about it, it shows up everywhere 🤔 power of attraction perhaps? Or just coincidence again? I’ll let you decide. 👇 VERY GOOD WATCH! 👇

🦋 Donations 🦋

I’m now accepting donations for further rehabilitation costs, and also in support of my creative work. The next BIG step on my journey to recovery is the body weight support system therapy 👣💪. Thank you in advance! Klaudia❤️🦋

€1.00

☝️Follow My Blog☝️-type your email address and click subscribe above ☝️you’ll receive an email address confirmation link to your inbox/SPAM, click on that to confirm. You’ll now be notified of any new posts via email ❤️🦋!

Video Blog 1️⃣

🦋 Small daily improvements are the key to staggering long term results 🦋

January 2016-GCR Repty-Rehabilitation Centre 🇵🇱
Right (weaker) arm movements – first active excercises
Left (stronger) arm movements – first active excercises
Sitting in a chair for an hour most days, to increase sitting tolerance. I was counting down the minutes 👀🤦🏻‍♀️ it was so uncomfortable 😣. We found this piece of wooden board to put on the wheelchair so I could rest the arms and keep the fingers straightened 👐🏼
Leg exercising lying in bed 🛌 first time moving legs actively out to the sides and back in. Our makeshift arrangement to rest legs and make this type of exercise possible. Very weakened leg muscles, as visible in the photo from being bed bound and doing only passive exercises for the past 3 months (October until December 2015).
Actively bending my left (stronger) leg. They had me on anti-spasticity and relaxant drugs, so my muscle tone was much lower, not stopping the leg from bending up. It was always easier to straighten my legs than bring them up…nature of this kind of injury.
And the best “little” improvement that took place there, apart from getting my voice back was this 👇
One day I was on my own in the room for awhile and this happened! 😱🙉🤗 I lifted my left arm! Just for a second, but it was a start of becoming unlocked 🔐🔓💪. First time I was able to do it, caught on video. Still null by mouth 😶 4 months since my brain stem stroke.

🦋 Let the improvement of yourself make you so busy that you have no time to criticise others…🦋

Nighttime visitor 😱😂

December 2015-March 2016 🇵🇱 GCR Repty

Every time we think or talk about this now, we laugh so hard 😂🙉, especially when my dad does all the impressions. I’m going to try to paint a picture, so you can understand the situation better 👇

When I was a patient of GCR Repty Rehabilitation Centre 🇵🇱 from December 2015 until March 2016, I had my own private room, as mentioned before. There was a little side extension to the main ward that had a bathroom, a room for two patients and my (only) Private room all separated with walls and there was also a small corridor leading to all these rooms. My room was very small, square shaped. As you entered there was a window in front, my bed to the right, a table and chair to the left. That’s all really..just a small wardrobe in front of my bed with a TV just above it. And of course that stupid tv meter machine hanging on the wall 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄, but I never had to worry about this again 😂💥🧨💣🔪🤫🤫🤫 (Why? If you haven’t read my previous posts it’s explained in the one called “Christmas in hospital”).

Every night, before falling asleep my dad would reposition me onto my right side, so I was facing the room and the door. He would always leave them half open, so I could see the main corridor. He would turn the lights off, as he was leaving, because I always slept with lights off (couldn’t otherwise 🤷🏻‍♀️). Just a quick reminder that I was still locked in 🔒😶, so when I needed help (usually to be repositioned) I would wait with my eyes wide opened 👀 👂🏼and listen out for any sound of a nurse walking down the main corridor. The main corridor was separated by that little side room corridor, and the main ward corridor had dimmed light, so I was able to see everything. I remember always looking multiple times which nurse was on the night shift, passing by my room, before I made that sound to alert her 🚨. I wanted to make sure it was the nice nurse, because there was one nurse specifically that I didn’t want near me after what happened one night🙈🙄.

🦋 Tough times don’t last, but tough people do… 🦋

One night I was “calling” for help, I still couldn’t talk or press the call bell👀🤦🏻‍♀️. I was in pain, so needed to be repositioned and also needed help to have my legs straightened . She came in pissed off 😠, because I obviously woke her (from her lovely sleep during her night shift🙄). But anyway, she comes in, switches on the light and shouts at me “what?!”, I look down at my legs, and because my legs had so much tone and spasticity , they needed a specific method to get straightened plus time. She gave it a second trying and then asked me in a very angry tone: “do you not want to straighten them?!”-and then pressed hard on my knees forcing them to straighten😖. Switched off the light and left…the next morning I couldn’t help it but cried my eyes out to my dad😢😭 and spelled what has happened via the letter board. Only when I calmed down I was able to blink my eyes with control, because I sobbed with despair like never before. I’m sure she didn’t think I would communicate this to him the next day, never mind writing about it years later on my blog…🤷🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️ Anyway we reported her and she came and apologised to me. From this day on she was always extremely nice to me🙄. Today I’m sending her 💕, I forgive, but I never forget…

Anyway back to my night time visitor, because that’s a funny story. I’ve drifted off, but at least I’ll end positively again, and give you a laugh. 😜😂 Ready?!

So for the 3-4 months that I was a patient there, nearly every night without a fail I was visited 🙉. I remember opening my eyes 👀 and there would be this old guy, sitting on the chair in my room 🙉🤣😅👨‍🦳. Funny when I look back now, but I was quite freaked out back then. Imagine a young girl laying in bed, unable to talk, unable to press a bell, and I obviously didn’t want to make any sound 👀👀👀🤫. He would just sit there for a very short period of time and leave. What was happening, was that he was actually my neighbour, a patient in that double room beside mine, separated by only a wall. When he was going to the toilet, on the way back he would always get lost and entered my room instead of his. He must have been confused, because sitting on that chair every time he looked as if he was thinking: “why is there someone in my bed?!” 🤔😅😂 I’m pretty sure he had some kind of memory problems. Well he was definitely in his 70s or 80s, like most patients there. I think I was probably the youngest there. I remember there was just one guy a little older than me in the same ward. There was a few more younger patients, but in a different (spinal injury) ward.

🦋 A meaningful life is not being rich, popular, being highly educated, or being perfect. It’s about being real, being humble, being able to share ourselves and touch the lives of others. 🦋